Tuesday, March 31, 2015

Half Awake. Ninnevah

I had an unpleasant interaction with someone yesterday and from the documentation of others I could see that that person had made a big deal about it behind my back. I got a bit emotional when I was on my own and let it put me in a bad mood for about an hour. I was on my own for that hour and used it to double check with someone whether I was being unreasonable or not. Overall it’s not a big deal, but I was thinking how it should be normal to feel upset or sad due to circumstances related to work. It shouldn't be a sign of weakness. The weakness would be how long you hold onto that grudge, or what actions you take based on it. I guess. This is what I tell myself to justify feeling horrible yesterday but back to normal today.

Sometimes I am so exhausted that my joints hurt and my head feels heavy. I know when I've reached the 36 hour mark when I develop chest pain on breathing. I don't reach that stage much but when I did do night shifts and then needed to stay awake the following day to attend an event/ catch up with friends/ return back to a more normal sleep routine. The worst aspect was driving home at this stage. I remember once I was out with friends on a post night shift day and trying to get from point a to b, I didn't realize it was evening traffic time. So apart from the headache and pain on breathing, I was falling asleep at the wheel. Not a new thing and in the past I have parked on the side of the road to sleep for a few minutes. A power nap. which sometimes works, but for me it ends up being about an hour or so long. But at least you can drive home in a more stable condition. The problem with this though is have you ever fallen asleep in a car with the sun shining on your face? The other thing is that you subconsciously have your foot pressing onto the break pad. Or maybe that's just me. I've fallen asleep at a red light too. Woke up to find other cars driving around me. I could have been dead and no one stopped to check up on me!! But yeah I had a sore ankle that day. I know I can't be the only one in this situation. It's gotta be fairly common.

Back when I was at uni, I've use to drive a land cruise so other drivers were generally scared of me. this tiny little young girl driving a huge car, I think others were worried that I was a very new driver and would accidentally hit / damage their cars. Yes I've had my fair share of falling asleep in morning traffic, really bad stand-still traffic.. I remember twice hitting the car in front of me due to this. But hey now I have developed the skill of sleeping with my foot properly on the breaks. Properly.

Anyways this was just a bunch of random thoughts. Just wanted to get back into writing again as I've had a few days being swamped with work. It's good to be back=)

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