Day three and still going. By Ninnevah.

Once in a while you get a patient that isn't easy to forget. Generally once they walk out of the door, you need to reboot yourself, prepare for a new first impression for each consult. This in itself is tiring. Now when you see a patient that emotionally drains you, or that you can't help but worry about you need to take that extra step of clearing your mind before calling the next patient in. I had one of those today. A 21 year old young man. Going through multiple social stresses and barely keeping it together. I was proud of him for seeking help. He was answering my questions diligently and trying to help me to help him. I could see the emotional exhaustion through his facial expressions and body language. It was like a 12 year old child seated in front of me and I just wanted to reach out and give him a hug, tell him that things were going to be okay. That life isn't meant to be too difficult and that we would help him navigate through it. But I obviously didn't do that. I'm already the only hijabi in this area so I didn't need to give people more reason to think I was mentally disturbed myself.

 I remember a tutorial back when I was a student about maintaining personal space etc. If a little old lady breaks down and starts crying because she feels she cannot manage after her husband of seventy five years has passed away, I am not allowed to give her a hug or rub her arm, as we were told, the most I am allowed to do is pat her with "two" fingers. That is very specific. Be weary if that ring finger rubbed against her woolly cardigan!!

The other scenario that is quite common is when you've just spent a stressful week looking after a patient in hospital that has been very unstable and either the patient him/herself or the patient's partner/parent want to express how grateful they are by giving you a hug. I have been in this situation a few times. Maybe because I look fluffy and hug-able in my fluffy hijabs and scrubs?
This isn't meant to be a grey line. I think the guidelines are pretty straight forward. Maintaining professional behavior and all that blah blah blah. But isn't this drying out part of what makes us human?  Aren't we all reliant on some form of human interaction? 

So let's end this post on a lighter note. During one of today's consults, an elderly male patient jumped up mid conversation to "catch a tenant who hadn't been paying rent." As in he killed the spider that I'd mentioned in my first post. I had completely forgotten about it until today. And I now don't have it's blood on my hands!! That's a relief because I'm a typical girl especially when it comes to spiders:)
 Well thank you for reading till the end of this post. my first two have been just shy of five hundred words but this one has finally made it over! Yay!!